I took the long way...

I Took the Long Way Here…

  because that’s the only way I know. Anything and Everything I’ve ever done has taken much longer than it should have. I probably know why but choose ignorance as any speculation on my part would probably open up some sort of stupid hell in which I lose a a meaningless but irreplaceable piece of paper without even leaving my seat, only to find it in my pocket after I spent a year searching for it. Sounds crazy but these setbacks have plagued me my entire life. I’d like to say that I’ve taken it all in stride but I’d be lying. I’ve hated every minute, day, week, year of it. I point it out to all within earshot, not for sympathy, as a matter of record. BUT, there is another side of me, the side that has always believed in the laws of probability. Simply stated, the shit card can only be dealt so many times in a row to the same individual OR an individual can only make so many bad decisions in a row before he comes up roses. Either way, it's a mathematical fact that this run will take a turn for the better any time now. ANY TIME NOW…...of course, the odds of fate hearing my call are 1 in 2, and about 123 in 1397 that upon hearing me, laughs till he shits on my head. Albeit, this gives me some comfort and for that, I am thankful.

D. Pulley

This is great

https://youtu.be/dF2HG1PVZok

How To Appear Much Cooler Than You Really Are.

           Presenting:

                               What Not To Do...

            Life is tough all over. We don't cry about it or bring a gun to the movies. Life follows a near static set of rules just like anything else and if you're not where you want to be, you probably don't give these rules the proper amount of respect. Well congratulations because the first step in the process is admitting the problem. If you're reading this, than you are admitting that what you are doing is not working. Not cool enough? Not as strong as others? Problems getting the girl? Maybe you lack in multiple categories. I can help. 

    

             We're not all born cool. We're not all born adept at making friends. As a matter of fact, very few of us naturally draw affection from others. It takes planned effort and an understanding of how things actually work to reap the rewards of a charmed existence. Success in life is not a given. If you can agree that life and ones social standing is subject to certain "rules" or "laws" than you can only deduce that if you're not where you want to be, it's because you're not following the rules. I have seen the ugliest man in the building pull more a** than Ron Jeremy. I have witnessed the most unlikely of hero's save the day and have watched the meek have inherit the head cheerleader. It's absolutely possible that this can happen naturally but a little understanding of the psychology behind it will make it probable.      Good looks can only get your foot in the door, the rest is personality and this can be shaped and molded. You have to understand that a personality is the accumulation of social skills that you picked up from others during your formative years. We rarely give our personality a second thought but we should. Insight of self is very important. You need to know how people react to you and what behavior you were exhibiting that gained each particular reaction and tweak accordingly. Most of us are already Cool inside our own heads but a lot gets lost in the translation because, other people as a whole, or a group of people within a particular social class, or even your 10th grade homeroom, will see you a lot differently than you see yourself and judge you accordingly. That's a fact.  These judgements happen quickly and without mercy. Nearly everyone you meet will quantify you according to the unwritten guidelines of being slick, smooth or pimp. Most of us choose to believe that others just don't see how down we really are. We choose to believe that we are simply misunderstood. This is acceptance. You've allowed others to place you on a tier of their choosing and have accepted the results. This classification has a way of following you throughout your entire life. Your social standing in middle school will carry into High School and will probably permeate into everything you will ever do. The closer you become to the bottom (the kid that had lice and wears the plastic NIKE's with a checkmark underneath. Not a swoosh. A frickin' checkmark)the more life stacks against you. The middle is OK but at the top is Cool. That's where you want to be. You want to be Cool. Being Cool will benefit you in nearly everything you do. I'm not saying that being Cool will ensure success, but life so often puts you within inches of the goal line and self assuredness is paramount to distinguishing yourself from the group. You will tolerate greater risk in your choices and reap greater reward. The sure-footed man will prove the path and encourage followers. The more followers you have behind you means less traffic in front of you.            The rules are hard for most people to pin down so you rarely see them in writing and most of what you do see is bull sh*t. This is not bullsh*t.  I was blessed to be born good looking and smart(it doesn't hurt to be well-kempt either). I wasn't born very cool but I was smart enough to quickly figure it out once puberty hit. A pussy hair can pull a train and I did whatever I had to do get laid.       A few changes in the way you carry yourself doesn't mean that you're  pretending to be something that you're not. It simply shows that you recognize fault or shortcomings in yourself and have the confidence and discipline to change them. Emulating what you want to be is the only way to ensure a real change in character. Fake it 'till you make it. The behaviors below are fundamental and influence your actions and responses at a root level. Integrate a few of these into daily life and be thorough. Half-assing or discounting the importance of truly committing yourself to the action will only succeed in making you look schizo and blaming poor results on me.        Be patient. You only get one chance at a first impression. It's true. You will only be truly and consciously measured by another person once.  So, if you're moving to a new workplace or school- great. Best-case scenario is a fresh start, otherwise it will take awhile to really change the form of you. The subconscious mind is a slow worker and you need it to form new memories, which it hardly ever does, and selectively replace tiny snippets of archived memory that has already been chemically mapped. Your new behavior has to be passively noticed which won't be easy, it's hard to overwrite a loud memory with a quiet one and most of this list contains behavior of low key and low key doesn't grab attention very easily. You will have to actively train your brain to make these changes-to remind yourself but within 3 weeks or so, it'll be pretty natural and automatic. Don't expect feedback or visible results. Like I said-   be patient. Life is a marathon and you have plenty of time. 

            Below is a checklist (kinda). Read it and check off any that apply to you. Don't lie to yourself. It's stupid.    And if you have to read any of these more than once, you're looking for an excuse and I suggest you just check it off. The list is self-explanatory.  What NOT to do...

1.   Speak without a point. The more you talk, the less people will listen. Consider talking as an expense and make it count. Mean everything you say. This gives you gravity. When you do talk, speak softly. Make them work to hear you. This gives you respect as the effort involved in listening to you will be obvious to all.
2. Produce un-needed negativity. It's petty and looks ugly on you. Don't put other people (or things) down or talk about them. It'll be subconsciously recognized as an agenda or an attempt to influence others to feel as you do. 
3. Settle for anything less than the your first choice. Leaving with less than you came for signals weakness and undermines gravity. Compromise only if it suits you and never too quickly. Leaving empty handed is better than leaving with what no one else wanted. Desperation is for the chumps. Keep preferences and expectations to yourself. If you leave with the big squishy, act as if you adore the big squishy above all others. 
4. Aim high.         The world is your oyster and 2's will come after 10's if needed but a 10 will never, ever, ever follow a 2. Aim high and be persistant.
5. Lose your cool.   Because you will lose your cool.   Control of yourself is among the bare minimum of expectations. 
6. Keep poor company.     Association is paramount to everything. Loneliness will serve you more than any amount of lopsided friendships.
7. Explain your actions.     Sometimes it's harmless but usually, it's an explanation and an explanation is just a plea for validation. 
8. Seek validation.      The need for validation from others is for the weak and/or unsure. Removes from your gravity.
9. Apologize without true need.      Brad Pitt doesn't apologize because he ate the last bowl of cereal. Fuck you. Eat oatmeal.
10. Get caught in a lie.   Be careful with your lies. A lie implies shame of action. People rarely forgive and never forget it.  
11. Be caught unprepared.   It'll still happen but you can minimize it with little effort. Have an answer for everything without blowing smoke. an "I don't know" is bad but stupid bullsh*t is worse.
12. Kiss and tell. Unless you're 13ish.     Some people find this difficult. The reward of discovery by a source other than you will be greater than anything you gain by telling anyone yourself. It's nearly impossible to say it without it coming off as bragging. (includes "smell my finger")
13. Take or do more than you can handle. Being called a pussy is much better than looking like a moron. Bet.
14. Allow yourself to be embarrassed. I'm not talking about your cheeks flushing because of a girl. I mean, don't put yourself in a position to do something that you do badly or allow anyone else to put you in that position. Admitting defeat may sometimes be the best option. Humiliation is embarrassment that is deliberately caused by another in an effort to undermine you. This can rarely go unanswered, but above all else, mantain your dignity.
15. Be Visible.  You must differentiate yourself from the others by proving your worth. This can come from anywhere. Choose wisely.
16. Fail to recognize situations that call for humility. Everyone is drawn to confidence but confidence is a close cousin to cockiness. Cockiness can be positive but you had better  f*ckin' deliver. If you question the outcome, trade cockiness for humility as quickly as possible. Humility, when done right, should look like generosity. No one likes a sore loser. Winning and losing should look the same. Mostly.
17. Allow yourself to be trapped. Most of these situations can be avoided by thinking a few moves ahead. Play out the whole story and anticipate every response for every action. Always leave a way out for everyone involved unless you have a sure win.  If the situation has you at odds with another, plan your rival a way out that will leave his testicles intact.  Make sure that this opening comes at least 2 moves before you are forced to commit. Always know how much juice it will take to justify the squeeze.

  Your reputation is a measure of your gravity. Points are easy to lose but can only be lost by action. The less you do means the less you can do wrong. Gaining a point back is difficult so it's wise not to risk the points you already have. Don't sell them cheaply and don't volunteer yourself for dumb sh*t. If nothing good can come of it, why do it? Risk vs. Reward.

   

Best Toothbrush of 2015

                                   Yes, A Toothbrush Review, kinda

Colgate Optic White

 

by Dennis Pulley

               No, I have never written about a toothbrush before and I feel that after 35 years of thankless toiling, this was the least I could do. I’m not being paid by anyone in the biz nor am I, in anyway, trying to solicit funds or cram my toothbrush beliefs down the throat of readers. Now, with that said;

 

                                                               I am absolutely writing this to be helpful.  I think that most people value a trustworthy recommendation and also find comfort in arming oneself with information before entering a market such as this. A market with few clear winners. I’ve been buying them for 30-odd years and this is the first time I have ever felt a measure of success in the endeavor. Allow me to share;

     I remember the monstrous ad campaigns of the 80’s in which Big Tooth would spend millions of dollars to introduce us to the newest weapons for our war on Cavity Creeps and gingivitis. How the technology of the bristles interact with the revolutionary angled neck to improve the overall quality of life of every American. I actually bought that one, I don’t remember the name but I have always been a sucker for leverage and as promising as it sounded, it never quite panned out. No matter the angle, I could never feel the improvement.

 

Pretty soon 40 years have come and gone without one single miracle                         in my tooth care regimen. Until last month.

           We had the tri-color explosion of Close-up and Aqua-Fresh, the mechanical toothbrush that could motor away 20 years of staining in 20 days, the whitening mouthpieces, Waterpik, Veneers, Bleaches, UV bathing, etc.etc. The bombardment was deafening and I quit listening to the commercials, I ignored 4 out of 5 Dentists and began to go for the eye-candy. The pastel and the premium, pimped-out, super-brite, commercial packaging. The Saturday morning cartoons sponsored by Colgate, the Anime Comic-books featuring Japanese Samurai warriors battling Commander Tooth Decay to the death.  I’m shallow. I don’t care. Pretty soon 40 years have come and gone without one single miracle in my tooth care regimen. Until last month.

      Last month, I caught my 13 year old cleaning his Nike’s with his little brothers’ Walt Disney brand robotic tooth sanitizer and asked my wife to grab him a new one on the way home. On second thought, grab me one, too. He likes me less than his younger sibling and I try not to wonder what he may have cleaned with mine. She shows up with Colgate Optical White. Never heard of it and it looks pretty unremarkable from where I stand but a new toothbrush is almost as cool as new underwear so I grab mine and head for the showers.



 At first glance, It’s just a white toothbrush with some pretty cool racing stripes. Blue and gray. The bristles match the color scheme and have an odd configuration as there are some shorter, wider ones that are made of rubber or similar. Looks cool, there is even a tongue scrubber on the back which I like. I also noticed a big, blue bullseye or thumb pad which implies leverage. Uh-oh. Alright, this toothbrush also comes with a tube of Colgate Optic White Toothpaste which is just another “whitening” toothpaste on a crowded shelf. It also has a pen. Yes. A pen of whitener that actually stores in the oversized handle of the toothbrush itself. Gimmicky but still, pretty slick. I like it, so far and in 10 more minutes, I’ll love it.

     I apologize for rambling through 5 paragraphs about a toothbrush but that’s just how I get my jollies but here comes the good stuff. The Colgate Ultra White toothbrush is amazing! Not as amazing as a monkey riding a motorcycle, but absolutely, as close to amazing as a toothbrush has ever been. First and foremost; It actually feels different. A lot different. This is the leverage I’ve waited my entire primary-toothed life for. Every tooth gets the attention it deserves. The backs of the fronts and the fronts of the back. The shape, the bend in the neck is so slight that it’s almost nonexistent but it feels so much different than anything I’ve ever used. That is why I decided to write about a toothbrush. The only thing I’ve exaggerated about is my excitement level. It really does feel different and it really does clean better. I wouldn’t lie to you.

  

 I hope you find the 4 hours I spent on this to be worthwhile. A public service of sorts. Who reviews toothbrushes and other mundania? This guy.

Dennis Pulley

 

Everything We Think We Know About Addiction Is Wrong

I  am a firm believer that half of the addicts at any one time are not of their own free will. Yes. There are plenty of people that just like getting high but the physical addiction of opiates is a brand new animal to everyone that encounters it. No other recreational drug has such an effect on the body. Those of you who may think that these people are weak-minded or weak-willed are terribly mistaken. The average drug user barely even believes in physical addiction until it happens to them and is so much worse than they had ever imagined. How do you go to work when you're so violently ill? How do you take care of your kids? You get more dope, that's how.  Every day.  It's not enjoyable and they never touch it again. You understand the gift it is just to allow someone the time to heal? 2 or 3 weeks is a long time to look after someone's affairs while they climb out of a stupidly deep hole that they dug themselves into. There is no need to remind most of them to feel guilty. Please, remember this if your son or daughter finds themselves in this position. Or maybe you, yourself.

Is the Geniux Limitless Pill Really Real?

https://youtu.be/X5QyXP-zefE l 

Are Smart Pills For Real?

By Dennis Pulley

   Are LIMITLESS pills for real? Does GENIUX do what it promises? 

    Cognitive Enhancers or Nootropics are a real class of drugs but should you be asking for a prescription? 

   

    I enjoy pills as much as the next guy so I spent more time than I should have on researching this particular class of drugs so let me see if I can explain this in a way that everyone understands without getting myself sued for malpractice or worse. 

    Hmm. Harumph. clearing my throat.

    No.       Not real. Not like you'd want.

If you're stupid or borderline, you're gonna' have to remain strong for a bit longer. Sorry. 

I feel your pain, I had plans to abuse these things myself. I wanted to believe and on the surface, it appears that these things are genuine   and available.... to everyone,... for $5, ...without a prescription. (shit, I should have caught on to that) which is precisely what we were supposed to think. The global market for something

like this is beyond the forecasting skill of any ad exec. or marketing major, but definitely in the billions and we all know that lack of product never stopped anyone from selling it.

Billions were spent on ad campaigns for drugs like Modanfil, NZT-48 and Addium and billions were made. Miracles were promised and there were enough wishful thinkers in the market to justify the expense. Humans are suckers like that. Remember Enzyte? My wife was pissed but Bob smiled all the way to the bank. We love a shortcut. What if Khan Academy advertised as aggressively? Surely, they can make the same claims. 

The movie was a commercial in itself and honestly, who can afford not to buy it, just in case it is real? I don't know what was being charged in the beginning but as of now, you can buy GENIUX for $20 a bottle. $20! I spend more than that on crack each week and that's without the Money Back Guarantee*offered by the manufacturers of these non FDA approved pills.

 OK. Enough of the jokes. Nootropics are continually progressing and they work by enhancing some of the basic cognitive functions that happen in our brain many millions of times a day. You can take certain nootropic supplements and actually increase the number of neurons and synapses in your brain while others make communication between these neurons more expedient. The result is measurably improved mental performance and an increase in your intellectual power. There is a drug called Hydergine a "smart drug" that dilates blood vessels in the brain, used to battle dementia. There is also Piracetum which effects cognitive ability and has been proven to raise test scores and boost memory with virtually no side effects. Oxiracetam is also promising and is favored by students in highly technical fields of study such as math or science because it boosts working memory function and the ability to process and perform calculations with complex information. 

        Don't forget Amphetamines! This class of drug has been around for a long time and primarily prescribed to children as a remedy for learning and cognitive disorders such as ADD, ADHD and a host of similar relatives. These Cognitive enhancers have been clinically proven to help with focus and even memory by steadily releasing Dopamine (Which feels awesome!) A better memory would add some IQ points, 

but it can't really help you decipher global economic policy. These Cognitive enhancers are mainly stimulants like Adderall and Ritlin and have been around for decades but promising improvements have been made recently in drugs like Provigil (Modanfil) which promotes alertness with fewer side effects and is still being improved.

     There are hundreds of natural supplements available that tout some of the same capabilities and you can buy OTC at any Pharmacy or Getty Mart but I think that intelligence of the near future remains with the time honored practice of putting in the time to learn.

     Will Limitless pills be available in the future?

    We all hope so, but it would kinda defeat the purpose if everyone knew about them so, pay attention and stay in school.